03. On Religion

 Religion has always been my Roman Empire. Ever since I was 12, I have been debating the possibility of God. I was introduced to Christianity at the impressionable age of 12. Under the guidance of a mentor, I started attending church and reading the Bible.

When I was 16, Covid-19 hit and I was left with all the time in the world. I began to deconstruct my faith. I turned to debates on YouTube and read arguments from both sides. Obviously, I read the infamous book, 'The God Delusion' by Richard Dawkins. My beliefs changed for many reasons.

However, two main issues solidified my beliefs.

First was the issue of evidence. I understood that much of Christianity depended on faith, where there is belief without concrete evidence. No one can see God. By definition, God is supernatural. We cannot see it through our natural lens. However, it is just not enough for me. As a matter of principle, I cannot believe without evidence. I believe the scientific method is the way I should determine if something is true. Many phenomena can be explained by science. However, questions like 'What was before the Big Bang?' and 'Why is there something rather than nothing?' cannot be explained by science yet. But as an atheist, I can say that I don't know instead of injecting God of the gaps. A lot of theists have tried to provide arguments for the existence of God, however, I think it falls short. They usually have logical fallacies that undermine the strength of the arguments.

The next and more important issue was the morality of the God of the Bible. You may ask 'Who are you to question God's morality?' and you are absolutely right. I do not claim to have the moral high ground. But these are just questions that made me doubt there is a benevolent God. The most critical morality issue to me is the concept of eternal punishment or hell. These are the questions I asked myself:

1. How can a mortal sin have an eternal punishment? Even for us humans, an eye for an eye is the upper limit for us. We criticise the North Korean government for punishing the generations of a wrongdoer.
2. How can God claim to be benevolent but send his creations to eternal punishment? God loves us so much that he is willing to send us to hell if we do not declare our faith in him?
3. If I am a Christian sent to Heaven, what about my non-believer family members and friends who might be better people than me?
4. Why can't there be no hell? Isn't it better for all of God's creation to receive equal love and pleasure?
5. Why do humans suffer? Some people are born to horrendous life conditions. How can infantile death be justified?

These questions are the ones which draw me away from theism, more than questions of evidence.

I believe that we need laws to provide the freedom of religion as well as the freedom from religion. I do not like it when religious people try to proselytise their religion. Although I understand the concept of evangelism, it feels like my privacy is invaded. I hope that if someone does not want to do the Lord's prayer, you will not force them to. Also, understand that even if a person is well-read and describes themself as an atheist, they do not have the obligation to debate you. It goes both ways too, an atheist should not demand believers to deconstruct their religion or force a debate.

I really enjoy thinking about religion as an atheist, seeing religion as a function of society rather than something to eliminate. Religion brings purpose, community and much more to believers. For me, I look to different philosophies such as existentialism, consequentialism, utilitarianism and stoicism to craft my personal philosophy. These schools of thought are not mutually exclusive, one can learn a bit from everything to develop something that can be used to navigate the human condition.